Bobby Bones: Austin DJ, Victim Blamer, Sexual Assault Apologist

[TW for sexual assault, sexual assault apology, victim blaming]

UPDATES:

  • Feb. 17 (Thursday night): Bobby Bones responded (sort of ) via Twitter and was condescending to a rape victim who confronted him about his language.
  • Feb. 18 (Friday morning): I compiled a list of Twitter responses by Bones’ supporters, including a woman who thinks I should be swarmed by killer bees for standing up for sexual assault victims.
  • Feb. 18 (Friday afternoon): I posted about Dudley and Bob from 93.7 trashing my blog post this morning on their show.

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UPDATE:

NB: I understand two important things:

  • 1) This is not the worst thing ever said on the Bobby Bones Show. It might not have been the worst thing said yesterday on Bobby Bones’ show. But it is the issue I care about so it is the issue I am focusing on. Had his co-hosts been the ones to say what Mr. Bones said, I would have geared this piece towards them. It is not my fault that it was Mr. Bones who said this.
  • 2) I’m sure that on other radio stations here in Austin yesterday (and probably all over the country) radio hosts said such things. If you know of them (have a clip or transcript), let me know. I’ll write about that, too. I don’t have the time or resources to do all that work myself. I picked Mr. Bones because a friend told me about the segment, knew what time it was said, and I could track it down. Also, Mr. Bones is popular in the city and has gigs on national shows. His casual words have the ability to reverberate out into audiences larger than just Austin. He should take that as both a compliment but also as a call to be more responsible with the language that he uses when talking about victims of sexual assault.

If or when Mr. Bones responds or apologizes, I will happily post that here and make that as public as I have made my challenge to his choice of language/rhetoric/whatever you want to call it. I WANT him to apologize. I WANT him to recognize why saying such things can be damaging even when it may seem harmless to him. Especially as a radio DJ, he should know that words do matter.

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To make it easier for people so you don’t have to scroll to the bottom of this rather long post for this info (I’m leaving it there, too):

To contact Mr. Bones and let him know that his comments were not okay:

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On Tuesday, CBS News reported that their reporter, Lara Logan, had been brutally sexually assaulted and beaten in Tahrir square in Cairo in the immediate aftermath of the announcement that President Mubarak had stepped down. There were a lot of responses that floated across the interwebs and throughout the media that were deplorable and disgusting. Salon gives a rundown and then suggests this approach to talking about Logan’s assault:

Here’s what you do say when something like this happens. Like countless women around the world, Lara Logan was attacked in the line of duty. She was assaulted doing her job. It was a crime of unspeakable violence. And your opinion of how she does that job, the religion her assailants share with a few million other people, or the color of her hair has nothing to do with it.

But yesterday, here in my hometown of Austin, Texas, on a morning commute, Austin drivers who were lucky enough to be tuned into 96.7 (and 96.9 (Amarillo, TX), 102.5 (Lubbock, TX), 963 (HD radio in Wichita, KS), or Y102.3 (Augusta, GA) – according to the Bobby Bones homepage) got to hear one of their own go into full-on victim blaming, sexual assault apology, paternalistic mode.

Bobby Bones is a DJ at 96.7, a recent guest-host on Regis and Kelly, and a repeat guest on HLN. According to Clear Channel:

A favorite in the Austin market, Bobby Bones has won “Austin Radio Personality of the Year” for the past three years. The radio program is nationally syndicated currently airing in five markets and is heard locally on 96.7 KISS FM on weekdays from 6 a.m. to 10 a.m.

Yesterday, Mr. Bones decided to not just report what happened to Lara Logan but to comment on it. Here is the link to the audio of it (it is the first thing they talk about on this clip). Here is what he said (full transcript at bottom of post):

Listen, nobody deserves to be sexually assaulted ever but, man, you gotta know, that’s why you don’t go into that crap. You don’t go into Egypt… [...]

You put yourself in bad places, bad things are going to happen to you. [...]

Listen, Mr. Bones. Nobody deserves to be sexually assaulted and then blamed for that sexual assault. NOBODY. The fact that your statement has a “but” after it is disgusting. What you think about both sexual assault victims and women is condescending and unfair. And your words, they are triggering for those who have survived such an incident.

This may have been a one-off, three-minute news banter segment for you and your co-hosts but for any many women or men listening who have been sexually assaulted, what you said to your listeners was that they, the survivors, were to blame for being somewhere that they could be assaulted, that some decision they made led to them being sexually assaulted, that Logan and all other sexual assault victims should have known better.  That somehow because they didn’t adequately prevent the attack they somehow caused it.

Let me tell you – if you think that you are simply addressing only the Logan story then you are incredibly naive and ignorant about the trauma and triggering that occurs for many people who have been assaulted. Yet again, this time on their daily commute to work, they have to listen to another man in the media tell them that they should have done something to prevent the terrible crime that happened to them, that they could have done something to prevent it (unless, of course, you are seriously suggesting that all women stay home and lock their doors). When survivors hear you talking about Logan, they hear you talking about them and their ordeal.

Because while Egypt or, “that crap” as you called the protesters in Tahrir square, may seem like an easy target of, “well, it’s bad there and if you go there as a lady reporter, you should know that you will probably be assaulted,” the truth is that sexual assault happens all the time, even when ladies aren’t in large groups of men in foreign countries.

In fact, it happens all the time just here in little ol’ Austin, TX:

  • Police looking for sexual assault suspect (2/11/2011 – Austin-American Statesman)
  • Fort Hood soldier charged with sexual assault (1/31/2011 – AAS)
  • Man charged in 2009 downtown sexual assault (12/30/2010 – AAS)
  • From the AAS’s “Austin Legal” blog, a list of the news stories about child sexual assault in the Austin area, the latest from February 8.
  • Statistics from Safeplace.org (a local Austin organization that helps victims of domestic violence and sexual assault):
    • Every day two people are raped or sexually assaulted in Austin.
    • 90% of Travis County rape and sexual assault survivors knew the person who assaulted them.
    • One in eight adult women in Texas has been raped sometime in her life.
    • Every 5.7 minutes someone is raped in the United States.
    • 11.7 million women and 2.1 million men have been forced to have sex during their lifetime.
    • Only 20% of rape survivors actually report the rape or sexual assault. This means if 100 rapes are reported to police, another 400 women, children or men did not report the crime.

Or how about those other cities you broadcast in?

Amarillo and Lubbock, TX:

Wichita, KS:

I couldn’t find anything about August, GA, but I think an important thing about all of these stories and numbers and statistics is that they are based on both what is reported (numbers and statistics) and what the media finds interesting (stories). Clearly, even though I can’t find an internet link to sexual assault in Augusta, it happens there, too. And it happens more often than is reported.

How about the state of Texas at large?:

And for those sexual assault victims in Texas who do come forward and consent to having a rape kit done almost immediately after having been assaulted, the state has told them that they are not a priority (even though Texas is supposed to have some of the toughest laws against sexual assault in the country).

At the same time, I want to highlight the fact that women on college campuses have a 1 in 5 chance of being sexually assaulted while in school. 20%. So, Mr. Bones, when you say that if you go to bad places, bad things happen to you, are you talking about college? Are you saying that women should not go to college? I’m sure you’ll laugh at what sounds like a ridiculous idea and say that you weren’t talking about that at all. But, see, here in Austin, where over 50,000 students go to school at UT and another 40,000 attend ACC, a lot of women are going to be sexually assaulted. And at least some of them are going to be listening to your program (which clearly gears itself to a younger audience). How about those other cities you broadcast in? How many college students there?

And that list is partial for every city. But let’s crunch the numbers I have.

If you add up all six schools and divide in half (even though often most schools have more female than male students), you get roughly 75000 female college students in the Bobby Bones listening area. If 20% of those women are sexually assaulted while in college, we are talking about 15,000 victims and survivors.

If only 1% of those were listening yesterday, you told 1500 survivors of sexual assault that bad things happen when you choose to go to bad places. If only .5% of those people were listening, you told 750 survivors of sexual assault that they were to blame for going “into that crap.” And that is only the people listening who go to college right now. That doesn’t include the people who have gone. That number is bigger. And it makes me sad to think of all those people having to listen to you say those terrible things about Logan and her role in her sexual assault.

My point, Mr. Bones, is that while for you it was a stupid comment that should have had WAY more thought and sensitivity put into it – for those possibly hundreds of sexual assault victims listening to you, it was someone reminding them that no matter what, they will be blamed for what happened to them. Because you know who you never blamed in this segment? The people who assaulted her. Somehow they escape the scrutiny and spotlight that you are thrusting on Logan. You also never talked about the culture that creates such a space, gives men some idea that they have a right to a woman’s body. What you say when you say that bad things happen in bad places (things = sexual assault) is that these victims, by simply existing somewhere, implicitly gave their assaulters some kind of consent over their body. Do you honestly feel like Logan did that by simply being there? If you do, what does that say about what you think about women and their place in our society?

In truth, lots and lots of places are bad places in this county and around the world if we are determining what counts as “bad” by possibility that a woman in that place could possibly be sexually assaulted.

For instance:

Where are women supposed to go that isn’t “bad”? What at all are accomplishing by saying such a thing?

So, please, the next time that you decide to do a 3-minute segment about sexual assault and feel the need to talk about the victim, don’t blame them. It’s not that hard. Think about the hundreds of listeners that you are shaming in the process, most of them probably female, some of them not only feeling guilt at hearing your words but are actually triggered, being forced to remember both their assault and the aftermath. As Amanda Marcotte eloquently stated today:

As feminists have forever said, sexual violence is a crime of power, committed to control and intimidate women. When people react to sexual assault and rape by suggesting women brought it on themselves, they finish the job the attacker started. It’s sad to say that the assault on Lara Logan didn’t end when she was rescued in Egypt, and to note that it’s now being expanded as an assault on all women who have ambitions, or who are willing to be out in public while looking attractive. This response to Logan’s attack should make it clear that the US and Egypt differ on the issue of sexual violence perhaps only in degree but not in kind.

Don’t be the jerk who finishes the job the attacker(s) started.

I think you should apologize and set the record straight on where blame lies and why it is NEVER okay to blame the victim of sexual assault. NEVER. Others have already lost their jobs for doing such a thing publicly. You know why? Because it is NOT okay.  [As a commenter pointed out, having this link here suggests that I think Rosen and Bones' comments on this are equal and that I am implicitly calling for Bones to be fired.  I have never asked for him to lose his job - not at all.  I don't think the comments are equal in substance - Mr. Rosen is clearly an asshole while Mr. Bones appeared to simply be unaware of what he was saying on his show (though not what he wrote on Twitter) - and I don't think what Mr. Bones said even comes close to warranting being fired.  That's why I never even mentioned that in the now thousands of words I have spilled on this subject.  Please don't say that I am looking for that or even want that.  I merely included this link to show how this one person, victim blamer extraordinaire, lost his job over his ridiculous victim blaming to put into perspective the seriousness of my charge and the mildness of my request for an apology.  I didn't mean to threaten or even hint at calling for Mr. Bones'  job to be lost.  I apologize for that being unclear.  I hope it is clear now.  And I'll say once more with gusto: all I want is an apology to sexual assault survivors and for Mr. Bones to be more careful with his language regarding sexual assault in the future.  That's all.]

Sincerely, someone who will never listen to your show again and will certainly suggest others do the same – scatx

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To contact Mr. Bones and let him know that his comments were not okay:

Full transcript of the clip from the show after the jump:

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Transcript:

Bones: I guess, I was watching the news this morning and, let’s see, Lara Logan, the CBS reporter, was attacked and sexually assaulted in the middle of Egypt.

Unknown: Yeah.

Bones: And, listen, nobody deserves to be sexually assaulted ever but, man, you gotta know, that’s why you don’t go into that crap. You don’t go into Egypt when every other… I know she was with people but you know what happened? She got separated from those people. And all of a sudden they surround her and they, like, rape her and they beat the crap out of her. Luckily some women and soldiers pull her out of there.

Lunchbox (co-host): All right now. Did they just grope her? Or did they actually…

Bones: I don’t know. They say, sex… I’ll read you the story.

Amy (co-host): It didn’t go into details, just “sexual.” Yeah.

Lunchbox: They said “sexually assault” so I don’t if they actually…

Bones: I’m not gonna be there. I… She loves going into these war zones. Loves it. It’s her thing.

Amy: Yeah, that’s what I was gonna say. She…she had just gotten back from Egypt and I was reading that she was doing an interview saying that she…she was, like, a few days ago she in was in the States and that she was itching to get back there and it was when she went, it was like the next day she went back and…

Bones: Man. You put yourself in bad places, bad things are going to happen to you. [Then reading a report] CBS news reporter, Lara Logan, was sexually assaulted after being surrounded by a crazed mob in Tahrir square on Friday just moments after the president there officially stepped down. According to CBS, Logan and her crew were covering a story for 60 Minutes when they were surrounded by a mob of more than 200 people. [Back to commentary] So, she was still with her security when the mob surrounded her.

Unknown: Yes.

Bones: They broke them up because of the mob around her. That shows you. That security wasn’t strong enough to fight off what was happening there. [Back to reading the report] She was separated. She sustained a brutal and sustained sexual assault and beating before being saved by a group of women and an estimated 20 Egyptian soldiers. She reconnected with the CBS team, returned to her hotel and returned to the United States on the first flight the next morning. [Back to commentary] I wonder if she is still going to go cover war zones.

Lunchbox: It’s amazing.

Amy: I’m sure… Her hotel was bombed.

Bones: You know what? This wasn’t even the worst thing that could have happened to her. They could have shot and killed her.

Lunchbox: Right. And you know it’s crazy. Her security team couldn’t keep her safe but a group of women were able to grab her out.

Amy: Well, those soldiers were with them, too. I mean, there was, like, Egypt soldiers and women. And, also, she was in. Oh, man. Where was it? Iran. I don’t know. She was somewhere when, like, terrorists bombed a hotel and, uhm, she happened to live and she totally will go back. Like, if that happened to me, I would be, like, okay, I’m done with the news.

Bones: She’s like an adrenaline junky. She just loves it. And she’ll go…she’ll go back. She’ll go back.

Amy: Well, sexual assault is, like, way different, though, than a lot of that stuff. Especially for a woman, I think. You are like psychologically. Who knows where she will go from here.

[End of discussion, topic changes]

Comments are closed.

  1. Pingback: Bobby Bones: Austin DJ, Victim Blamer, Rape Apologist

  2. Susan says:

    I can’t believe that THIS is the thing you are going to focus on when literally HOURS of awful, subtly oppressive things have been said on this show, primarily by Lunchbox and Amy and NOT Bobby, who is often more fair to women than his co-hosts.

    And yes, this comment could certainly be seen as part of a culture of victim blaming, but honestly, I feel more violence against women when I listen to Real Time with Kim Iverson than when I read this transcript.

    If we only focus on sexual assault, and if accuse people of “rape apologism” before requesting a response, then we create more divisions. Bobby Bones is more often than not an ally of women, and focusing on a slip up like this just distracts from the actual systemic violence that is subtle but endemic in so much of the construction and understanding of gender in Texas.

  3. ridiculous says:

    Do you think by attacking people it will get them to see your side of things? There is NO way he meant that any of the horrific things that happened to her were good, or needed to happen. He means she KNEW going in that this is a dangerous place. EVERYONE knows that. I know if I walk at night in a war zone it is not the same as walking at night in my suburbia neighborhood. YES, something COULD happen in my neighborhood, but the chances compared to that in a war zone in Egypt are exponentially different. YOU KNOW THIS. You know the chances of SOMETHING (whether is be a gun, bomb, car accident, or sexual assault) happening is WAY higher. This feminist spin is sickening. No one thinks she shouldn’t go there. It’s her choice. She’s an intelligent woman who knew the possible dangers. Just like we know there are dangers of surgeries, medicines, even cars! But we still knowingly do it. You hope nothing bad will happen, but sometimes they do. And in a war zone those chances just miiiiight heighten. Also, if you want to print a transcript, you might want to print the complete transcript in full. Picking out what you deem is harmful or harsh out of context delineates your argument.

  4. scatx says:

    Yup. Fair enough. I think his co-hosts are often disgusting in what they say.

    I don’t really listen to Bobby Bones’ show very much. I’m just literally not in my car. But this comment in particular really, really bothered a friend of mine. And it was, sadly, typical of the response that people had to this incident and most incidents of sexual assault.

    If Mr. Bones responds or apologizes, I will gladly post that response. But I’m not mis-characterizing my charge. He participated in rape apology and victim blaming, full stop.

    Also, I don’t believe this is a “slip up.” You don’t say, “No one should blame victims but…” without already having decided that certain kinds of victims should be blamed in certain situations. I’m sure he’s said it before and will probably say it again.

    And perhaps because he is the one that someone would often refer to as the “ally of women”, the fact that he said this is even worse than from the mouths of people who are more misogynistic, who are expected to be misogynistic.

  5. scatx says:

    First, I did print the whole transcript. It’s there.

    Yes, people take risks during surgery or when they get in a car, but rarely, if ever, do we BLAME them for any bad stuff that happens to them when they make those decisions. We reserve that blame for a very specific type of crime. And I’m not at all denying that there were risks or that Logan didn’t know what they were. I am instead asking Mr. Bones to apologize for blaming her for being a victim and to point out instead that the true blame goes on the assaulters (and that this type of thing goes on all the time, not just in Egypt). Because I actually don’t see why it matters AT ALL whether she was aware of the fact that where she was going was a dangerous place – that implies that she is to blame for going there in the first place. And I refuse – REFUSE – to blame Lara Logan, though clearly plenty of people don’t have the same feelings about sexual assault victims as I do.

    Anyhow, I’m not sure why you have such a problem with me standing up for victims of sexual assault. They shouldn’t have to listen to shit like that when they turn on the radio and are driving to work. I wasn’t comparing being in Tahrir to being in my suburban neighborhood – I was comparing it to actual facts about actual places where sexual assault happens on a regular basis.

    And your response to my post simply makes me want to keep up my feminist spin when it comes to talking about sexual assault. Because clearly the victim blaming is too easy a go-to.

    Finally, just to clarify: Egypt’s Tahrir square was not a war zone (no matter what Mr. Bones said), especially not in the moment when she was attacked. That alone is a false characterization of what was going on at the time. And IT WOULDN’T MATTER ANYWAY.

  6. Susan says:

    I’m sorry that it was a trigger for your friend. That certainly helps me understand the anger I can feel in this piece. It is shitty that that happened to him or her, and it is shitty that Bobby Bones said a thing that made him or her feel that way.

    But I’m going to stand by my assertion that one way to produce a misogynist is by attacking an ally. What he said wasn’t “worse” because he’s an ally — that’s just another way to be divisive and create an enemy that we can rally around. And his comments are tame even compared to other media responses — he never once comments on her appearance like other news organizations did. His comments read, to me, as very generalizable across forms of violence, not specifically constructed around our social conceptions of rape/rape victims. Totally and 100% victim blaming, I agree, but again, not the worst thing I heard surrounding this instance of assault. And not the worst thing I’ve heard said about women on Austin talk radio.

    And I also would challenge you to start listening to more local radio, if you want to engage in debates like this one. Disappointment or anger are more forceful emotions when readers know you’re actually engaged with the media you want to critique. I know it’s just a blog, but nuance never hurts, and it might stop people from being able to write you off as someone engaging in “feminist spin.”

    You’re not wrong at all, so I hope I don’t come off as critical of your content. I just hope this turns into a conversation instead of a shouting match. I hope Bobby chooses to apologize, because I really think he’s capable of understanding why this would upset someone and I don’t think his persona is the kind of asshole this comment makes him out to be.

  7. ridiculous says:

    No one (in this situation, at least) is BLAMING Lara Logan. By saying the “but” is not saying “Weeeellll, it’s her fault for being assaulted”. If there’s anyone to blame it would be the indecent, horrific people that did this to her like you said. By Bobby saying “but” just meant that she had to of known that SOMETHING could have happened. To say that anyone on this situation is BLAMING her for getting assaulted is crazy talk, and feels like someone just talking to talk and try to stir up a mess. There are a ton of horrific things that are going on there including rape and sexual assault. A number of horrible things could have additionally happened to her, or other people in her group.

    And to defend my analogy with surgeries, car accidents, etc- YES people blame others for misfortunes. If my mother told me not to drive in the thunderstorm, and I did it anyway and got in an accident, she’s compassionate and not going to say “I told you so”, but I willingly went against her advice, and put myself in danger. And unfortunately I suffered the consequences. If I take a trip to Slovakia (random example because I have a friend working there)- even in this country (a foreign one to me) there will be dangers, and ill advised activities. If I get my wallet stolen, or go out at night by myself- I KNEW something COULD have happened. Doesn’t mean it’s my fault. Could it have happened at my home? Yes. But the fact that it’s a place that’s foreign, I don’t know the language, the territory, and (if) there is turmoil? The risk goes up. There are a lot of corrupt people out there -everywhere- but in a “war zone” (I’ll address this in a minute) those risks go up. Plain and simple. It DOES matter if she was aware of her surroundings- are you kidding me? I know there are POSSIBILITIES of horrible things happening every day. It doesn’t mean that I say “eff that, I do what I want”. You might want to think that, but it’s just not reality. I trust myself, but it doesn’t mean I trust other people. Especially in a country that’s near war, that doesn’t speak my language, and that isn’t my territory.

    “I wasn’t comparing being in Tahrir to being in my suburban neighborhood – I was comparing it to actual facts about actual places where sexual assault happens on a regular basis. ”

    You said it can happen anywhere- colleges? You had examples of doctors, police officers, soldiers– those could be in suburban neighborhoods? Those aren’t in corrupt, military driven, rioting nations. You’re right, we’re probably more safe in Egypt than our own neighborhood…

    The fact is that she was in a dangerous place at a dangerous time. She is a woman. That might make you gasp, but holy crap, it’s true. She cannot fight against a MOB of people in Tahrir square, not a man can do that. If this happened to a man, would you be fighting this fight? I know I would think the same thing. He (or she) KNEW the dangers. It’s completely and utterly unfortunate; it’s a risk they took.

    You are right, Tahrir Square is not a deemed war zone. Officially. Corrupt military government, brutal beatings, shootings, murders, and assaults out in the streets are probably just a day in the regular, not rioting, country of Egypt. Totally safe.

    I get what you are trying to say, but I don’t think you have anything to back up what you are saying. A radio DJ said something and you twist it to what you THINK you hear. There is NO way that BB thinks that it’s this poor woman’s fault. You’re one of the listeners that claims to “never listen” but secretly still do. I’m sure you’ll tune in tomorrow morning. I hope you do, and I hope you realize how silly of an accusation you are making.

    Attacking innocent people in the media (or anywhere in general) is not the way to go. Also, you lose credibility when you resort to using foul language in your argument. Good luck in the rest of your endeavors.

  8. scatx says:

    I think we have to disagree on this ally thing. When Naomi Wolf came down on the alleged sexual assault victims of Julian Assange, the response was swift and it was loud because it was so hard to listen to someone who often advocates for victims of sexual assault blame them for what happened to them.

    Sure, he gets credit for not doing ALL the victim blaming that others did. And yes, his arguments could be extrapolated to include other kinds of violent crimes but he wasn’t talking about other types of violent crimes – he was participating in a cliche discussion of sexual assault.

    I appreciate the fact that you think I would do better in this discussion if I listened to local radio more. I listen to it often enough to know that it drives me crazy. I find it HARD to listen to. I often find myself changing the channel from Mike and Deb, Bobby Bones, Kim Iverson, etc. In some ways, you are right. I could probably make a career in simply responding to the garbage spewed on those shows. I don’t have the time and I’m not sure I could stomach it.

    Also, I don’t mind people thinking that this is “feminist spin.”

    Finally, I don’t want this to be a shouting match, either. I tried to write this so that it specifically wouldn’t come off that way (hence my refrain from lots and lots of curse words). I really WANT him to respond. I want him to apologize. I want him to not do it again. That’s my goal.

  9. scatx says:

    We’re going to have to disagree. Because what Bobby said is victim blaming. Full stop. I don’t know how else to say that telling a sexual assault victim that it is their job to prevent their assault is blaming the victim for what happened to them.

    If this happened to man, damn right I would be fighting the fight. I am basically an all-around “don’t blame victims for their crimes” kind of gal. But this didn’t happen to a man this time. Most of the time it doesn’t. Wonder why.

    I simply feel that when sexual assault happens anywhere in the world under any circumstance, we get NOTHING out of telling the victim how they should have acted differently. That doesn’t change the story and that doesn’t stop sexual assault – because it happens everywhere, including college campuses, throughout the US military, in the peace corps, etc. Telling victims of sexual assault what they should have done doesn’t make anyone stop and question what goes into the decision for someone to sexually assault someone else. That doesn’t focus attention AT ALL on the people who did the assaulting. The answer to sexual assault should not be “no means no” (which puts everything on the assault victim – it’s only wrong if they don’t stop it or try to stop it). It should be “yes means yes” (which puts everything on the assaulter who should know unless they receive obvious and crystal clear consent, they don’t have access to that person’s body). That’s all.

    I don’t want anything other than Mr. Bones to apologize and set the record straight on who was in the wrong. He should want to do that for all his listeners that are victims of sexual assault because I can guarantee there are enough of them out there.

  10. Susan says:

    I will probably write a blog post in a couple of days in response to this whole incident, once I see where the dust settles. It just looks like a lot of mud slinging on both sides from where I’m sitting, and it distracts from what I think is actually important in the confrontation of systemic gender violence and oppression.

    But what I will say in response to your point about Naomi Wolf is that the loud swift response which was disproportionately large because it was viewed as a betrayal concentrated energy on one very particular case, and in my mind, the only way to actually ever change anything is through consistently but fairly applied pressure across a social spectrum. People have been angry for a long time and certainly agitation is a PART of any effort for social change. But people ignore anger and protest now with relative ease. So what else can we do? What does it look like to be radical now? Cornel West says we should be extremist for love, and I think that’s a really generative place to start.

  11. Thinking Brain says:

    I can’t believe I’m forced to add something so obvious here, but: When a person is injured in a car wreck or during surgery, and blame IS due, we blame whomever did the injuring. We blame the person driving too fast, too drunk, or without a license, because that is the INJURY-DOER. We blame the surgeon operating too fast, too tired, or without a license, because that is the INJURY-DOER. Another word for the culpable person in an injurious situation is the PERPETRATOR. Here’s the part that, apparently, is just too tricky for ridiculous rape-culture robots to comprehend: in a sexual assault, there is also a perpetrator, and IT IS THE ASSAULTER. IT IS NOT THE ASSAULTEE. What is so fucking complicated about that?!

  12. Me says:

    He’s a young guy with an opinion and he has the right to say them. Just because your feelings get hurt doesn’t mean you are guaranteed an apology. Let me guess, you got a trophy just for showing up to soccer practice didn’t you? You try and do a radio show for days on end and see if you don’t mis-speak. Big fucking deal. Get the fuck over yourself and your self righteousness.

  13. red211 says:

    He does have a right to an opinion. And anyone else has the right to disagree with him and think he’s an idiot for saying it. Freedom of speech doesn’t mean you get to say anything you want and no one will call you out on stupid bullshit. The poster never said an apology was guaranteed – just that there was hope that he’d realize what he said is not respectful to Logan and assaulted women everywhere. You yourself said he misspoke – what would be so hard about him admitting that? Does he have to? Absolutely not. Is it guaranteed? Of course not. Would it be right thing to do? I think so.

  14. Pingback: People in Austin LOVE Bobby Bones, Victim Blaming, Or Both « Speaker's Corner

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  16. Isobel says:

    Excellent post.

    It still amazes me that people such as Mr. Bones can spout such harmful rubbish quite unthinkingly, and yet earn such passionate defenders who seem to think that being accused of victim blaming or sexual assault apology is somehow far worse than being harmed by the victim blaming and apology.

    Well, all right, it no longer amazes me, but it does still make me want to spit.

  17. Cinnamon Girl says:

    Hi Susan, I’m not sure if you’ll see this comment but I wanted to ask you a question. I don’t understand what you mean when you say that one way to produce a mysogynist is to attack an ally. How does that happen?

    I ask because I’m not a feminist ally, but I am an anti-racist ally; and on seperate occasions I have been both called out for unthinkingly saying something racist, and attacked for racist things I did not say. It never occured to me to stop being an ally and embrace a racist ideology on the basis of either of these incidents. Would this be because there is a fundamental difference between a feminist ally and an anti-racist ally, or do you think that there are personality factors which determine whether someone will turn into a misogynist after being called out?